The Friday Five: Second Edition

Five Questions answered by a mom somewhere in our great country about her sex life.

This week’s contributor Z, says this about herself:

I am a 39 year-old mom of a 1st grader, have been married for 10 years, work full-time outside the home and am currently relaxed after a great summer (we’ll see how long this lasts).

What’s the best thing about your sex life now?

I’m having more sex than I have in the last 6 years.  OK, part of this is due to the fact that we’ve been trying to get pregnant, so there are no annoying condoms to deal with and it’s really revived our motivation.  My husband and I are talking more openly about our sex life and our wants and needs, which is refreshing and liberating.  It also makes me feel closer to him to share these intimate thoughts, so it’s good for our marriage.

How would you compare your sex life before kids with after kids?

Before: fine
After: improving…at the moment GOOD!

Oh, and good lube is key. I really like Please lubricant by Good Vibrations.

What is the most important thing to you about your sexuality?

Hmmm.  Not sure… empowerment? monogamous fulfillment? The knowledge that there are ups and downs in my sex life, just like every other part of my life.  It can always get better.

What does being a sexual mama mean to you?

It means striving for a healthy balance of time, energy, giving and getting in my home life and family relationships. It means sometimes struggling for alone-time with my husband, even when it would be easier not to. This is a lot to achieve for me sometimes, but I’m learning to make this a priority. Now, if I could only get him to call a babysitter and set up a date on his own!

Anything fun or exciting in your sex life you want to share?  (I live vicariously.)

For the first time in my life, I own a vibrator and I LOVE IT!  It’s the best investment I’ve made in ME in awhile.  Whether I use it alone or with my husband, it spices things up.  I highly recommend exploring this option if you haven’t.  Check out the Hitachi Magic Wand Massager.  It is amazing!
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Thank you so much Z for participating in this week’s Friday Five!

Readers, what questions would you like to see in the Friday Five?  Post them as comments and you might see them in next week’s edition.

 Are YOU interested in participating?  Shoot me an email at slofmoms@gmail.com.

And don’t forget to send an email to slofmoms@gmail.com to enter the Sex Lives of Moms Bedroom Chemist Sex Kit Giveaway–you won’t want to miss your chance to get a fabulous, free, sexy kit to spice up your sex life.

How roller derby saved my sex life.

Roller derby has saved my sanity, my body (I’ve gotten strong!), and my sex drive.

The process of reclaiming my sexuality after having kids has been a long, arduous one.  It’s taken me years to figure out that I first needed to recover my identity as a woman, and as myself–beyond that of mommy or wife.   I tried to do this through activities that kept me busy:  book clubs, blogging, writing, reading, volunteering, karaoke, running, painting, and nights out with my girlfriends. All of these are activities that I love and strive to do regularly and often, but they haven’t been enough.

As a stay-at-home-mom I’ve struggled at finding the sweet spot between maintaining my own sense of self amidst the intense demands of being home with two little ones.  I know many moms, those who work from home, and those who work outside the home, struggle with similar issues.

But the feeling that I had lost myself was overwhelming, depressing, and made me feel resentful.  I’ve resented that my husband has a career while I’m still figuring out how to get started, I’ve resented being home all day, I’ve resented just about anything and everything.  And none of this helped our sex life.

What’s saved me is roller derby.

Skating for hours at a time with a group of kick-ass women who encourage and inspire me to push myself harder, to sweat until it runs like a river down my neck (and make my protective gear STINK), and to take risks that make me feel like a teenager again, has done more in seven months to help me find myself again, than years of book clubs, groups I joined, volunteer jobs, and all the things I did to have an identity outside of my home.  I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but the sheer exhiliration of skating, and hitting, and getting through a pack of women hell-bent on taking you out—has been visceral.

And it’s helped my sex life.

I feel powerful, I feel sexy, I even think my bruises are sexy.  And so does my husband.

Before derby, I would’ve whined or complained about a bruise.  Now I’ll strip down to my skivvies and show off the bruises on my hips or thighs.  (Maybe we are the inventors of a new realm of kink, the post-derby-hematoma-sado-masochism–because I fully admit, doing derby is both sadistic and masochistic–and it’s awesome!)

I know derby isn’t everyone’s path to finding yourself or reclaiming your sexuality, but it is so easy for those things to get lost in the shuffle when you are mom of young kids.  What’s your journey been like?  What’s helped you?  Are you a derby girl too?

I’m constantly reinventing my approach, but in the meantime–derby does the trick.

Those sweet rides at the top of the page look a lot like mine.  And don’t forget to check out the Bedroom Chemist sex kit giveaway if you haven’t yet.

Sex Lives of Moms “Bedroom Chemist™Kit” Giveaway

Looking for ways to spice up your sex-life?  I have one more spectacular, sexy kit from Bedroom Chemist to giveaway full of all kinds of goodies to spark anyone’s bedroom play. With products and toys to enhance desire, foreplay, and intimacy, this woman-owned company will help you break bedroom boredom (and was recently featured on the Today show).  You can read my review of our first Bedroom Chemist kit here.

While on vacation we used our second kit, the Great Sex kit.  We were excited to open up a new one (with extra heated anticipation given our enjoyment of our first kit) and I loved the discreet portability of the adorable pink lipstick vibe (it looks like a tube of lipstick) that I toted around in my makeup bag.  There was an edible body powder– yum!  And a fun book with great ideas for sexy dates.  Plus lots of little extras.

I’m telling you; these kits are fun, they add a layer of expectation and excitement (I mean, how often do you get to open up a secret sex present together?), and each one is different.

To enter for a chance to win, send me an email to slofmoms@gmail.com with Bedroom Chemist Giveaway in the subject line.

So end your summer on a high-note by entering to win this giveaway.
You must be 18 or older to enter.  You can see the complete rules here.

 

Sex Lives of Moms “Bedroom Chemist™Kit” Giveaway

I am so excited to announce our first giveaway, the Sex Lives of Moms “Bedroom Chemist™Kit” Giveaway.  I discovered the Bedroom Chemist™ a few weeks back and blogged about the kit I got from them here.  This giveaway begins today and goes until 11:59 p.m. July 15, 2012.  To enter, email me at slofmoms@gmail.com giving me a short answer to the question “what do you do to enhance intimacy?”  The rules for this giveaway are posted below.  I have two kits to giveaway and let me tell you, they are fun ones for the winners to enjoy!!  (A hint, one of them is inspired by a current, very hot and popular book). Entrants must be 18 or older.

Let the fun begin!

Giveaway Rules

No Purchase Required to Enter or Win
1.    Eligibility: Sex Lives of Moms “Bedroom Chemist™Kit” Giveaway (the “Giveaway”) is open only to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (including the District of Columbia) who are 18 years of age or older at time of entry. All U.S. federal, state and local laws and regulations apply. All U.S., federal, state and local laws and regulations apply. Void where prohibited by law.
2.    Sponsor: The Giveaway is sponsored by Sex Lives of Moms, slofmoms@gmail.com (“Sponsor”).
3.    Agreement to Official Rules: Participation in the Giveaway constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to and acceptance of these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.
4.    Entry Period: The Giveaway begins at 12:00 am ET on 6/18/2012 and ends at 11:59 pm ET on 7/15/2012 (the “Entry Period”).
5.    Entry: During the Entry Period, individuals must email an answer to slofmoms@gmail.com to the question, “what do you do to enhance intimacy?”.  Submission will result in one (1) entry. Limit one (1) entry per person. Subsequent entries from the same person will be removed from the entry database. The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.
6.    Drawing: At the conclusion of the Giveaway, Sponsor will select the name of two (2) potential winners in a random drawing of all eligible entries received during the Entry Period. The odds of being selected as a potential winner depend on the number of eligible entries received during the Entry Period. Potential winner will be contacted via email will be asked to provide their full name and mailing address within a specified time period. If potential winner does not respond within the time-frame stated in the notification email, the Sponsor may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period.
7.    Winners will receive one Chemist’s Kit from Bedroom Chemist™, Approximate Retail Value of prize is $49.99. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winner is responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize.
8.    General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Giveaway is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Giveaway to address the impairment and then resume the Giveaway in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prize at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Giveaway or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Giveaway may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address. Information collected from entrant is used for the purpose of the prize drawing, to notify winners, and for marketing communication by the Giveaway Entities (“Sex Lives of Moms” and “Bedroom Chemist™”). By entering the Giveaway, you agree to Bedroom Chemist’s Privacy Policy, which is available at http://bedroomchemist.com/privacy-policy and Bedroom Chemist’s Terms and Conditions, which is available at http://bedroomchemist.com/terms-conditions.
9.    Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Giveaway, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Giveaway Entities (“Sex Lives of Moms” and “Bedroom Chemist™”) from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Giveaway or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Giveaway; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Giveaway or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Giveaway or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Giveaway Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Giveaway, and in no event shall the Giveaway Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.
10.    Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Giveaway or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action.